Christmas Carols
Christmas Carols Anyone planning on going out and singing carols this Holiday Season? I figured I would lend my twisted thoughts on how to keep our beloved sport in your mind while ringing in that Holiday cheer. I recommend a bunch of spiked Egg Nog prior to attemtping these.

Hark! The Nascar Rules are changing
(Hark The Herald Angels Sing)

Hark! The Nascar rules are changing
Mike Helton is rearranging.
HANS device and Seat Belt mandates,
Age limits, Kyle Busch it frustrates!

Joyful, ISC’s profits rise,
Let’s hope greed doesn’t cause its demise;
TV deals have blown up.
Mike has spoke from Daytona!

Hark! The Nascar Rules have changed
Our sport has been rearranged!



(Junior the Bud-Sponsored Driver)
(Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer)

You know Wallace and Gordon and Stewart and Petty
Yarborough, Pearson, Allison and Andretti
but do you agree, who the 2002 Champion will be?

Junior the Bud-Sponsored Driver
had a very famous dad.
And if you ever raced him,
He would make you look bad.

All of the other drivers
Thought Junior was pretty fast.
But they never knew that Junior
Would make them all finish last.

So next year at the Waldorf
Mike Helton will come to say:
"Junior with your Bud Chevy,
I present you with the champion’s trophy.

And of course the girls they love him
And they shout out with glee:
"Junior the Bud-Sponsored Driver,
you'll go down in history!"



Nascar Rules
(Jingle Bells)

Dashing thru the snow, at New Hampshire Speedway
ate turkey a day ago, its 40 degrees today.
fans in parkas scream, making things all right
its still not fun to slip and slide, but my lips are sealed tight
because,
Nascar rules, Nascar rules
just do what they say
cause they can throw a caution flag and take your lead away.
Nascar rules, Nascar rules
Mike makes an easy sell
its our way, or the highway, go back to the IRL.

On the twelfth day of Christmas Mike Helton gave to me
12 second pit stops
11 crew chiefs whining
10 rules a changin'
9 race cars drafting
8 Humpy Bumpers
7 crewmen's helmets
6 degrees of spoiler
5 laps of green (between commercials)
4 goodyear tires
3 new tracks
2 weekends off
and A HANS device, (It's man-da-tor-y).



O Dale E
(O Christmas Tree)

O Dale E, O Dale E! How sadly do we miss you!
O Dale E, O Dale E! I can’t believe it is true!
No more black # 3, But in our hearts, you’ll always be.
O Dale E, O Dale E! How deeply do we miss you!



Junior
(Frosty)
Junior the showman, was a jolly happy soul
with his hat on backwards
and a can of Bud,
and stubble thats 2 days old
Oh Junior the showman, won at Daytona in July.
Restrictor plates,
He can negotiate,
And he made the whole world cry.

There must be some magic inside that Chevy that he drives,
Cause when he gets out on the track, the fans they come alive

Oh, Junior the showman will be strong this coming year,
So to all the rest,
Look out for the best
And get used to being to his rear.


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