Now just wait, I can spell hypocrite. But I think the spelling, Hippo – Crits, fits the NA$CAR brass much better. The NA$CAR Mafia has to be the most hippo-critical bunch ever to run a sport. Anyone who actually believes Darth Brain, Jabba the Hut Helton and Minister of Mis-Information Hunter really want the on-track paybacks, retaliations, one-finger salutes, occasional “s” words, and whatever else the drivers can come up with to stop, must’ve fell of NA$CAR’s money-green turnip truck last week - right before the New Hampshire race started.

The evil empire knows full well these kinds of antics put more money in the France family vault. This is exactly what NA$CAR wants, and needs, to give the sagging ratings a big boost. Sure, Darth Brain will send Helton- boy and Minister Hunter out to report things like “this must stop”, “we won’t tolerate it anymore”, “we’ll suspend you for the rest of the year”, and so on and so on. All the while, Brain is laughing his backside off and basking in the attention thrown NA$CAR’s way.

Doesn’t Brain know we’re not stupid? These are the kinds of events that helped fuel NA$CAR’s popularity in the first place. The sport was built on controversies, rivalries, questionable driver antics, and so on. Can you say Yarborough vs the Allisons? Waltrip vs Earnhardt? Petty vs Pearson? Gordon vs, well, whoever got in his way” (sorry 24 fans, had to throw that one in there!) We, the racing fans, love this kind of stuff, whether we’ll admit it publicly or not. Brain knows it. Helton knows it. Jim Hunter knows it. They know we know it. Heck, everybody knows it! NA$CAR just won’t admit it. In their zeal to become a squeaky clean, media darling, sponsor friendly, uhh…sport, they can’t admit it. If they do, they’ll risk losing money. And that my friends, is something Brain France will never do. Hell, Brain’s never met a penny he didn’t like, not to mention a Thomas Jefferson or Ben Franklin.

Fans have been leaving the sport, not watching on TV and not going to the tracks. I know it, you know it, and the Daytona mob knows it. A few times this year, races have been reported to lose ratings points over the race from the previous year. Then low and behold, a day or two later, NA$CAR comes out with their “official” ratings report showing the ratings up from the previous year. Why? NA$CAR mis-information. NA$CAR has the spin-doctor, Minister of Mis-Information Hunter, on the job 24-7, ready to squash any truth, fact, or event that does not fit NA$CAR’s version of the facts. For a cynic like me, all the truths and counter-truths just fuel the fire. NA$CAR doesn’t want you to know the facts, they want the fans so confused, so stupefied, so fact-challenged, that all they’ll do is believe the company line, stand in line like robots to spend their money, and agree with every published mis-informational “fact” NA$CAR publishes.

I read somewhere, that long ago Jim Hunter was a man you could trust and believe, before he went to work for NA$CAR. Where the H-E double L did that man go? Why, he went to work for NA$CAR of course, and attended the France propaganda school. Speaking strictly from a fan’s point of view, I don’t believe a word that man says. If Jim Hunter told me the sun was shining at 2 PM on the hottest, brightest day in August, I’d still go outside and see for myself. I doubt he has much credibility with fans that know who Jim Hunter is, meaning fans that are not new “fad” fans.

Another group with questionable integrity is NA$CAR race control with their “Mystery Debris” cautions. I can’t count the number of times in race’s this year where someone’s been pulling away from the field and I began to ask myself, “when’s the debris caution gonna come out”? And sure enough, sooner than later, a debris caution appears which obviously tightens the field back up. Or, it benefits certain drivers by giving them the lucky dog pass. Sometimes conveniently receiving the free pass, multiple times in the same race. I won’t go into which drivers have apparently benefited the most, as I’ve tried to not show bias towards or against drivers in my commentaries. But, you know who you are!

C’mon NA$CAR, if you want us to believe your debris cautions are legitimate, show us the debris. Go out of your way to show us the debris. Make FOX and NBC get camera shots of the debris. “SHOW ME DEBRIS!” And don’t send out an official to “pretend” to pick up debris either. This may fool the TV viewers, but fans at the track with binoculars can spot your little shenanigan. Note to Brain: This stunt doesn’t work, maybe you and Hell-Ton are showing the fans your lack of intelligence, hmm?

That’s enough ranting for now. A quick thanks to Rob here at Inside The Pit Box for letting me vent every now and then. I hope you, the readers, enjoy my cynical brand of humor, with a little commentary thrown in. I actually have enough ideas to write almost weekly, but I really don’t have the time. Plus, I’m so sick of NA$CAR’s crap, more importantly the same crap over and over, I really don’t give an owl’s hoot anymore. I do get satisfaction from knowing that most people who read my rants agree with me, plus I enjoy putting my ideas to paper every now and then.

Wes Cook,

Somewhere near Atlanta

Cookster351@yahoo.com